Sunday Bitter Sunday: Pride FAIL 2009

In the immortal words of the Backstreet Boys, “Oh my god, we’re back again…”

Batman's back, ALRIGHT!

It’s been forever since I’ve done one of these. I want to try and update this blog more frequently, but we’ll see how that goes. Anyway, on to the bitterness (Bitter B approves. Or disapproves. Whatever).

Sunday Bitter Sunday: Pride FAIL 2009

A few weekends ago, I headed over to SF to take part in some Pride related activities. I met up with my friend Sophia and we hung out with some other folks in Dolores Park before the Dyke March. Played some “People Watching Bingo”, enjoyed the sun, and did the March, which ends in the Castro for the Pink Party. Other than a cursory glance in our bags, we went through security with no problems.

We decided to leave the party for a bit to go eat dinner. Once we finished, we headed back to the party. Easy peasy, right?

And this was when it all went wrong.

The line (if you could even call it that), was this massive, poorly organized crush of people. The security guards were not at all helpful; it was all yelling and threatening and general abrasiveness. Yelling at people that there were no backpacks allowed and that if they had one, they’d have to take it home or throw it away. Very slowly, we started to move. And then I thought I heard someone say, “Women on this side, men on this side.” No way, I must have misheard. But as we got closer the security guards were yelling it and directing people to go to the correct line.

Yes, that’s right. Gender binary segregated lines. At Pride.

How fucked up is that? The whole thing was just so bizarre. One of those “You have got to be fucking kidding me” moments.

And as if that’s not enough, when we finally got to the front of the gate, they made me throw out my leftover Indian food from dinner and my Chex mix. What’s so dangerous about Chex mix?

I guess the moral of the story is that if you fall outside of the gender binary, you’re not welcome to even stand in a fucking line at Pride.

And you sure as hell better not have any Chex mix.

Sunday Bitter Sunday: The L Word

*contains spoilers*

I was in danger of having my gay card revoked so I finally sat down and watched the final season of The L Word.

We were not amused.

There were some choice moments like the one below with Alice, Tasha, and Jamie dressed like Salt N Pepa and dancing to “Push It”:

But overall it was a crappy show. The L Word is one of those shows that could never really decide what it wanted to be. With the final season they made the (incredibly misguided) attempt to turn it into a murder mystery. But what’s the point of a murder mystery if you don’t have a big reveal at the end? Instead we get an off-screen death, no clear resolutions of anything, and a stupid three minute montage of the cast walking in slow motion and smiling as a wind machine blows their hair:

(the walking part starts at about 55 seconds in)

Dumb.

But after six seasons, I think I know what the “L” in The L Word stands for:

Lazy.

First there’s the lack of consistent characterizations. Plus the total disregard for continuity. Heavy-handedness with foreshadowing (if you can call it foreshadowing when everything is so obviously telegraphed). Then the reduction of most characters of color to little more than stereotypes. It seemed like nearly every sentence Pam Grier’s character said had a “Girl!” in it somewhere. And then the shitty way the transgendered character was portrayed. They couldn’t think of anything for him to do so they did an asinine “plucked from the headlines” pregnant man storyline. And I could go on and on and on…

It seems like if the creator were better able to think beyond her white, upper class lesbian world and, I don’t know do a little research, be consistent, and really try, the show could have been a lot more. It was fun in a “this is terrible yet I can’t stop watching it” kind of way, but I can’t say I’m really sad to see it go.

But still, I’m really, really glad that Jenny died.

Sunday Bitter Sunday #10

I’m currently fighting off a cold, but I’ve got irish coffees and Bitter Batman to help me.

He fights crime... and colds!

Tonight’s topic is massive enough to write several books about, but I’m going to focus on a recent example I came across.

Sunday Bitter Sunday #10: Blackface

I like Of Montreal. Sure, their song titles are pretentious as fuck (“Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games” anyone?) but the music is poppy, psychedelic fun.

I was listening to the album Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?“ again last week and got curious about the inspiration behind the music, so I did a little digging on Kevin Barnes, the brains behind the outfit.

Turns out Hissing Fauna… is all about Barnes dealing with depression and a near nervous breakdown by “transforming” into Georgie Fruit, a black transsexual:

Barnes as Georgie Fruit. Hate crime?

Now I’m sensitive to the pain that comes from depression. I’ve been there more times than I’d like to remember and I know what a terrible place it is to be. But goddammit I am sick of white people appropriating blackness to work out their shit. I know that songwriters sometimes adopt other personas to help with their creativity (with Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines being the epitome of failure at this strategy). But from what I’ve read, Barnes seems unwilling or unable to question what it means for him to adopt the Georgie Fruit persona. And this is a problem, particularly in the context of the ways in which race and gender play out in our society. In an interview here Barnes says that “If I’m Georgie Fruit, I can say whatever I want — I can be raunchy and rude and insensitive, but it’s not me.” Blackness is a chance to be loud and to be sexual. It plays into all the old tired stereotypes.

Earlier this year, I remember looking at the website for Transgender Day of Remembrance and being incredibly disheartened by the fact that a) the violence is at a level where we need a Trans Day of Remembrance and b) so many of the transfolks we’ve lost this year seem to be black and brown people.

So. A straight, white man takes on a black trans persona while actual black transpeople are beaten and murdered, just for being who they are.

This is not a fucking game.

Sunday Bitter Sunday #8

Thank you to everyone who came to me and my roommate’s pre-Thanksgiving celebration last night, I had a great time. But despite a great party and the cuteness of puppy cam, me and Bitter Batman are still bitter:

Sunday Bitter Sunday #8: People who don’t watch TV and are smug about it

It’s happened more times than I can count. You’re chatting with someone about some mundane thing and you mention a TV show you like. And then they say, “Oh, I don’t watch TV.”

These people suck.

It’s not that they don’t watch TV. There’s nothing wrong with not watching TV or not owning a TV. There’s also nothing wrong with watching or owning a TV. No, the problem with these people is that they’re so fucking smug about it. There is always something in their inflection that says they think they’re better than you and that they’re above watching TV. That watching TV is a province of the proles and the unwashed masses, not enlightened, cultured individuals such as themselves. And aside from being smug and condescending, there’s also the problem of buying into the whole high culture/low culture divide. Sure there are a lot of shitty TV shows out there, but had I written off the entire medium because of Two and a Half Men, I would have missed out on great stuff like Six Feet Under and Arrested Development.

And the funny thing that I’ve noticed is that a lot of these people do watch TV. But because they watch it via Netflix or on their computer it somehow doesn’t count.

It’s okay to watch TV, people. You don’t have to be ashamed. And if you truly don’t watch TV, you don’t have to be a dick about it.

Sunday Bitter Sunday #7

Hot new 8 gauge earrings:

Same old bitterness:

Today’s topic is something Bitter B doesn’t have to worry about because he’s a) fictional and b) a fucking billionaire in his fictional universe. But I’m sure he sympathizes because he’s a superhero and doesn’t like to see people treated like crap, right?

Right.

Okay then.

Sunday Bitter Sunday #7: Student Loans

Holy fuck do I hate student loans.

Last Tuesday was a day I had been dreading. The day my December student loan statements arrived. Most months I only have one payment, but every few months I have to pay both my monthly and quarterly statements. Yeah. There’s nothing I love more than having to pay a $500 dollar bill, especially right before the holidays.

I’m glad I went to college and overall I had a pretty good time there. But was it worth being in debt for the rest of my life? I’m not sure.

When you think about it, higher education has a pretty nice racket set up. You grow up and everyone tells you to go to college, get an education and then you’ll be “successful”. So you work hard and you go to school and then you graduate, and then it hits you. All those triplicate forms you signed every semester added up to more money than you realized, probably more money than you make in a year at your crappy low-paying job (if you were even lucky enough to get a job since current and recent grads are entering the workforce at the worst possible time). You’re burdened by debt before you even begin. This then sets you up to work for the rest of your life as a wage slave to pay it all back. Short of untimely death, student loans are almost impossible to get rid of. They’re like a nasty treatment resistant tapeworm, sucking the lifeblood from you. It’s pretty ingenious really.

They didn’t really teach me many practical, real-world skills in college. But student loans did teach me one of life’s most valuable lessons: what it feels like to be screwed over. And if that doesn’t prepare you for the real world, nothing will.

Sunday Bitter Sunday #6

This past Wednesday afternoon I was struck down by a brutal stomach virus. I was on my way to my hometown to take my parents out to dinner when the symptoms started to come on hardcore. By the time I made it to my parent’s house I was shivering, nauseous as all hell and had a fever of 101. I’m just glad I made it there though because I don’t think I would have able to take care of myself. Besides, when you’re sick, there’s nothing like having Mom there. Finally made it back to Berkeley yesterday and slept for 14 hours while Bitter Batman watched over me stoically. But in between dry heaves there were still plenty of other things that left a bitter taste in my mouth and they seemed to have a common thread.

So now I bring you Sunday Bitter Sunday #6: The Race & Religion Edition

1) The whole “let’s blame the black community for Prop 8′s passage” meme

No, let’s not. I know that a large percentage of black people voted for it (which, as a black queer person I find deeply dissapointing). But scapegoating some mythical, monolithic black community is not helping anything. Especially considering that blacks make up a small percentage of the electorate and that the white religious vote was far more influential in swaying that prop to pass. Plus the “black vs. gays” narrative doesn’t really address the fact that some people are both. But Janelle has an awesome list of links from people who break it down much better than I have here.

2) Essence Magazine

I’m not a huge fan of Essence, or of “women’s magazines” in general. Mainly because (to paraphrase Morrissey) they say nothing to me about my life. I’m not terribly interested in dieting, or most celebrity gossip, or sex tips on how to please my man (don’t have one and frankly don’t want one). Essence is geared toward a very specific group of black women: straight, professional, upwardly-mobile, rap/r&b listening, christian 30-somethings. Seeing as how I fail on all counts, obviously not the magazine for me. But while I was on my “death bed” this weekend my mom gave me the most recent copy:

“Be the woman God wants you to be…” Hmm, no thanks, I’m cool with being the person I want to be. I guess Essence figured all the atheist, agnostic, and even Buddhist sistas wouldn’t mind because we’re already too hippie dippie weirdo to read their magazine in the first place.

3) The Mormon Church and their record on race

After sleeping for 14 hours, I woke up this morning needing a laugh when I came across this video via a blogpost at Black Woman Thinks:

The whole video is hilarious (in that “if I didn’t laugh at this I’d start crying uncontrollably” kind of way), but the best part is at about 2:20 where we learn where black people came from. After watching that, I was curious to find out when the Mormon’s changed their tune about about black people being inferior and all that. Turns out that back in the 70s they were catching a lot of flak from other university sports teams who wanted to boycott BYU. And the federal government was making noises about taking away their tax-exempt status. When lo and behold, in 1978 they receive a revelation from on high to stop discrimination against blacks. Now that’s a conveniently timed revelation.

Sunday Bitter Sunday #5

Me and Bitter Batman are exhausted:

But we’re never too tired for a healthy dose of bitterness:

With the election fast approaching I thought I’d take this opportunity to get on my soapbox about something. That brings us to this week’s topic:

Sunday Bitter Sunday #5: People who are voting “Yes” on Prop 8

Fuck Prop 8. Seriously. And boo on the Mormon church for being its biggest financial supporter.

I haven’t heard an argument for it that isn’t somehow steeped in religion. Um, last time I checked we still had that whole separation of church and state thing that implies that, I don’t know, we don’t live in a theocracy and people passing laws based on the religious beliefs of some is not okay.

Some people just hate queer folks. Others try to dress it up and make it seem like they’re more accepting than they really are. I think they may be even more reprehensible than the first group. The basic sentiment boils down to this: “The thought of gay people getting married is icky to me because my holy book says it’s wrong. But we shouldn’t discriminate against gay people. No, I’m so tolerant. But they shouldn’t be able to use the word marriage because that’s for straight people only.”

What a load of bullshit. The very fact that they see gay people as unworthy of using the word “marriage” doesn’t sound like “tolerance” or “acceptance” to me. It stinks of discrimination, plain and simple. Sorry, but I refuse to be treated like a second-class citizen because my sexual orientation makes you feel icky.

The other argument these people love is the whole “the court overstepped its bounds, the voters should decide”. Sorry, but protecting the rights of a minority from the tyranny of the majority is well within their bounds. If we had left the issue of segregation up to voters I’d probably still be drinking out of “Colored Only” water fountain.

So if you’re in California, please vote no on 8 and urge others to do the same. Although, I can’t say I think too highly of the institution of marriage itself, queer people deserve the same rights under the law as anyone else.

From my apartment window

Sunday Bitter Sunday #4

Another Sunday, another outpouring of bitterness. And another new hairstyle:

Such is the beauty of last week’s bantu knots: you take them down and you get a whole new hairstyle. But not even awesome hair can keep me from being pissed off about this:

Sunday Bitter Sunday #4: Terrible Store-Bought Halloween Costumes

I love Halloween.

It’s probably my favorite holiday because it combines two of my greatest pleasures: a) dressing up and b) getting really, really drunk.

But seriously, a lot of these mainstream costumes are ruining it for me.

I went downtown on Wednesday to buy comics when I passed by one of those Spirit Halloween stores. I haven’t decided what I’m going to dress up as yet, so I thought I’d just poke my head in to see what they had.

Big mistake.

Practically all of the women’s costume were “Sexy (insert noun)”. No, you cannot just be a witch or a fairy or a nurse (which are already pretty dumb costumes to begin with), it has to be sexy. My “favorite” one would have to be the Sexy Border Patrol lady:

But it gets better. The website where I found an image of the costume includes this sentence at the end of the costume description:

“Pair the Sexy Border Patrol costume with our Mexican Man costume for a hilarious couples outfit.”

The Mexican Man costume (of course) looks like this:

Um, wow. Hate crime, anyone?

Let’s just say that I will definitely be making my own costume this year.

You know, it’s funny to me, all the people out there who think that racism and sexism ended years ago and people just need to stop complaining. You don’t even have to listen to the ignorant vitriol coming from recent Sarah Palin rallies.

All you have to do is look at what passes for a fucking Halloween costume.

Sunday Bitter Sunday #3

Well, after a week off, me and Bitter Batman are back! Check out my new hair (Bitter B helped, because he’s Batman and he knows how to do everything). I didn’t cut it or anything, just wrapped each lock into a tightly coiled ball of bitterness.

This week’s topic: “Hard-working white americans”

I don’t have a problem with actual hard-working white americans (unless they’re racist homophobes. Then they can suck my 8-inch black strap-on). But I am completely fucking sick of this whole meme that’s pushed in the media and the entire Republican campaign that “Joe Sixpack” and “hockey moms” (and the various other bullshit euphemisms being used for white middle and working-class midwesterners) are somehow more American than anyone else. That they are somehow more authentic.

Fuck that shit.

Being a person of color and a queer person, I have a complicated relationship with this thing called America. It hasn’t worked out so great for people like me in the past. But whatever complexities are woven into that, I’m still from here. I was born here and I was raised here and I’m a citizen just like anyone else. I’m sick of the idea that anyone who’s not “Joe Sixpack”is considered out of touch with real America, is an outsider, an Other, a second-class citizen.

Me and Bitter B, we’re those west coast/east coast elitists you hear about. His family has that whole Kennedy-esque thing going on (east coast, old money, liked by many, struck down by terrible tragedy). And I’ve got that whole Bay Area black queer feminist thing going on.  But whatever. Aside from the fact that he’s a fictional character, we’re just as real as anyone else and it’s way past time people realized that.

No SBS this week

Sorry folks, no Sunday Bitter Sunday this week. Yesterday I had a fabulous housewarming and it was impossible to be bitter when surrounded by so many lovely people.

But don’t worry, me and Bitter B will be back next week.